I started my day off today with (first things first-a cup of coffee) attempting to rummage through my excessive supply of clothing deciphering what I can wear to work on Monday morning. To my surprise, I came across my old Victoria Secret XXXL t shirt that I used to wear to bed consistently (with washes in between- don’t panic). My reaction was very simple: I had a sudden rush of happiness, and I had to take a moment to process why I was so happy. That extremely comfortable, oversized t-shirt was once my favorite piece of clothing. It seemed to be very worn out when I was examining it, screaming how much use I made out of it.
As I proceeded to look through all of my clothes, I realized how much their value goes down after even a month of wearing it. Everything in this world loses its value after it gets its miles on it. This makes me slightly sad, because I think this decrease in value over time with material items is sometimes translated into our relationships in life.
Any relationship you have has a foundation. Typically, that foundation needs to be prosperous in the beginning. You need communication, compatibility, time spent together, etc. This goes for platonic friendships/relationships as much as romantically involved relationships. In the beginning, it typically comes easy, because you enjoy your time with that person. It comes naturally. You watch One Tree Hill together with some popcorn, complaining about math class and boy talk. This develops into laughing hysterically over the Bachelor with some wine and attempting to find an internship that will count for college credits. You go out to dinner and enjoy the easy conversation with that special someone, and it just becomes easier as you go on. Netflix and Chinese food in sweats and no makeup, but its ok. You’re comfortable.
But then comes along life. Like a freight train. A big one.
The accessibility and simplicity you once found just isn’t there. It’s time for figuring out the ropes of balancing life all over again. Family, work, friends, relationship, your own interests/hobbies. Let me tell you- I am completely aware that this is difficult. I am aware that this isn’t something that is figured out over night.
But I am also aware that you need to stand your ground in certain situations. Just as my shirt lost it’s value over the years I’ve spent wearing it and hiding it away in my massive amount of clothes, please DON’T let your relationships lose their value in your life. Relationships require work. Once the dust has settled and you decide this person is important to you, work at it. Manage your time. Find even two hours you have one afternoon and make an effort to reach out to that person you haven’t connected with in a few months.
At the end of the day, no one is too busy. People just prioritize. I truly believe people communicate through their actions more than words. Once you take a step back sometimes and realize that, it speaks volumes.
I want to wake up one day when I’m 70 years old and be with my best friend who I can still throw things at playfully and know that my value hasn’t decreased one day in his eyes. If anything, my value increases every single day we spend together. That’s the way relationships should be. Please friends, don’t settle for less than that. The cliché saying “We accept the love we think we deserve” is actually spot on. So don’t be the friend or lover who allows others value to decrease as you become comfortable and as time goes on and life distracts you.
I’m truthfully not even sure how I connected my old T-shirt to this subject, but hey. Creativity points, I guess?